I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize