I just pynch a tree in the face
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
