It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
