i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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