you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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