i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
