I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
