The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
should my penis look like a turkey
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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