i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize