So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
