i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
