i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
