He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
