dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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