He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
