you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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