yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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