i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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