you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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