I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
