You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
