I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
