I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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