Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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