watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
