Already got asked if we're dating
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
