My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
