Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
