I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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