So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
