my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
