So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
