I want to have your abortion
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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