Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
