You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
