a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize