Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
