She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize