I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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