420 ftw
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
