WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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