just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
