is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
