I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
