who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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