We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
