Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
