He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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