dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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