ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
