My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
