just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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