don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
