Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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