I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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