I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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