i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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