i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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