This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
