Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We left the knife in your bed.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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