HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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