Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
