We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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