so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
