I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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