True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
