i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
